Dad

When you were a giant, I listened to you breathe,
I tried to match my breath to yours,

When you were mighty, I wondered at your strength
You lifted me in and out of cars,

When we first spoke, I was amazed at your memory
Every detail was set in stone,

I love you Dad, and I'll always be grateful,
For all the years of love you've shown.

Life and time

The tracks of my tears are slowing time down,
The days roll on at half the pace.
Holding it together as my thoughts go 'round,
I have to remember, this is a race.

Time is fooling me - there's not much left,
It's running out; so much to be done.
Depression bangs on my heart till I'm deaf,
This new perspective weighs a ton.

I will stand up and seek out the best choice-
Above time's pace, life moves on.
I will speak with feigned strength in my voice,
And see this through until it's done.

wildcats

Oh look at the Tiger strut through the grass,
Her long eyelashes and pretty striped ass,
The Lioness lingers just a bit jealously,
Because the Tiger, the Tiger is all they see.

She's beautiful and even the Lioness knows,
That she could never wear stripes like those,
Oh the taunting way the Tiger swishes her tail,
And makes the other wildcats next to her pale.

She is Magnificent, in the jungle so admired,
She makes the other wildcats look old and tired...
There go the boys, panting after her, knowing,
They'll never possess her, glorious and glowing.

Elusive love, You went awry again.
I'll wait, and expect to be surprised.

Once injured, so easily re-injured.
Once broken, so easily detected...

I'm not looking for a project,
I won't complete you at all.

I am a goddess- whole within myself,
Looking for my counter-part.

Each of us moving independently;
Ah and even more beautiful together,

We are both complete the way we are,
But together we will be a masterpiece.

Friends

Laughing, affection, crying, eating, enjoying,
time well-spent though rare... I love my friends.

Heartbreak.

Ah the ferry I wish I could catch- sleep!
But the grief in my heart is too deep, too deep.

From me a river of love flowed strong, so strong,
Oh but as usual 6 months proved me wrong, so wrong.

Now my river is all pain and tears, salty tears,
but I'll remember this one for years... for years.

There is a terrible and deep sadness with giving in,
It rings from the core out, shakes from deep within.

No longer holding together, the whole world cracks,
Then tension that was so intense, suddenly slacks-

Deafening silence after the ear-bursting boom,
Time to rest my murdered ideals in a tomb.

I was cold and frozen, my petals mostly fallen...
I thought that life was just like this; winds calling...
I used to be a bud naively opening to the world...
Looking back, I felt I must have been a stupid girl.

Blossomed and spent; youthful beauty, nevermore.
Love had become nothing but a necessary chore.
I had already bloomed, and was therefore spent...
I really thought that was how life for me went...

But then the winter passed, and after painful pruning,
I find the warmth of spring at last, to find I am blooming.
A new beginning, renewed and beautiful once again,
A new season, a new chance to be thankful for the rain.

Waiting by the Phone

Standing here arms out,
At the edge of the world,
Which way will I fall?
I’m up here balancing
On the knife’s edge,
Just as nervous as I can be,
Waiting for a sign, even a clue,
As to which way to go and
What I need to do…

Heart Song

Heart Song

You struck the first chord with your smiling eyes,
The tone that rang out- took me by surprise.

I’ll be your instrument; just play as you will.
Write me a song with your talent and skill.

The silence was deafening; now I want more,
Haven’t heard anything quite like this before.

I love how you bring the music out like you do.
Compose your masterpiece; I’ll sing it to you.

HOPE

Sorry

With the warmth of the fire still hot on my skin,
It’s so easy to want to promise the world,
With the smoke clouding up my head,
I tend to speak too soon only to be sorry~
Out of guilt I run faster than my mind will go,
And out of regret, I pull back- ashamed.

Stay behind...

Oops, did you try to rise up from the rubble,
Crawling out, covered in garbage and goo?
Being your friend was just too much trouble,
Stay gone, I want nothing to do with you.

Difficulties

The world has grown thick around me,
It's hard to move, difficult to breathe.
Oh life is weighing me down, weighing me down.

We've been on the brink for a while,
We couldn't possibly go on like this,
Now it's finally come crashing down, crashing down.

I will keep my head up, my eyes open,
Keep reaching for air, keep on treading,
Never give up, I refuse to drown, refuse to drown.

I've hit a wall but I'll find a way through,
This is my battle- nothing you can do,
Til I set my feet on solid ground, solid ground.

I went out to feel the embrace of the sun,
But as I looked up, rain stung my eye.
It’s not supposed to be cold like this,
This is not the right season for rain,
Guess I’ll go back down and hibernate,
And dream that I have sunshine again.

RIP R. W.

One moment of impulse
And the world is stopped.
One moment of weakness
So many lives are rocked,
It took only one moment
It cannot be taken back.

Would you change your mind,
If you’d had the chance?
If you could see the ripple,
The change in circumstance?
If you had thought about
The tears of those you’d loved?

Moot after just one moment-
You’re forever gone.

Speaking Out

I want to call out, but then I can't say your name.
I want to play, really want to, But not at this game.
I wish I knew what to say, wish I knew how to speak,
How to walk and interpret the hieroglyphics of sleep.

I wish I was normal, yeah if only- you know I am not.
I am not warm, nor am I cool. I'm ice cold or red hot.
Speak to me with the poetry experienced in dreams.
I cannot understand, but I think I get what it means.

Apples

Working too hard for so little gain,
My hopes are essentially dashed.
Why does this life have to be so hard?
What questions should I have asked?

This should have been different; better,
And I know that it's because of me,
I have done everything I can imagine,
Apples just don't fall far from the tree.

Living in the shadow of my self,
I wonder what it would be like
To stand on my own feet,
To freely live my life…

I am an intricate outline,
Waiting to be colored in,
Ready to escape this cocoon,
And try out my newfound wings.

IF

If I was smarter, I would know how to tie up these loose ends.
If I was stronger, I would pull them tight.
If I cared less, it would be better,
If I was heartless, I wouldn't cry at night.

If I were older, I would have gone through this,
I would be finished, I would have grown already.
If I were wiser, I'd know to rip the bandaid off,
Instead of pulling slowly, hoping it'll hurt less.


Wisdom said to wait, wait; and I waited.
My heart said to try, try; and I tried...
The bandaid has to come off sometime,
Wet it down, rip it off, it's going to hurt-
Yes it'll hurt, but the pain will soon be over.