Sojourn

I’m so tired, walking through the sand,
Driving on, there’s little time for rest.
Looking back, I make deliberate steps,
My destination's distance is unknown.

I’ve been doused by torrential rains,
My skin scorched by the blazing heat,
Threatened by dangerous animals,
Still, I push on with determination.

No turning back from this journey of tears,
All other paths have been exhausted.
It is time, and I am now strong enough.
The sun sets on my thirst-derived mirage:

I dream of the lovely Weeping Willow,
I’ll finally lay down on the green grass,
Sheltered by the curtain of her branches,
She calls to me, Peace calls to me.

I will not deviate from my chosen path,
I must follow through to the end,
I must sojourn through the desolation,
To be purged and find peace with myself.

Healed but There.

I carry my scars with me; the worst cannot be seen,
I won’t deny their existence, or deny where I’ve been.
I don’t hide my scars, so I’m different from you,
You’ll count it against me; it’s just what you do.

Yes, I’ve been hurt, and I’ve worked hard to heal.
I’ve come through the fire, stronger and more real.
My scars don’t define who I am; they are a sign,
Of the battles fought and lessons learned over time.

Beware

I am a lioness. No one shall hold me down.
I am tender with my young, a great provider.
I am at once wild and soft with my lover,
And I will tear up any who threaten me or mine.

RAWR.

Lessons shared

Slow, roll, look, press...
Turn up the throttle and go.
If there is an obstacle,
(and there will be obstacles),
Don't stare and dwell on them-
Look where you're going,
Stop thinking about it,
Just decide and execute.

No breaking in the corner,
No slowing down, just go.
Act like you're not afraid,
Like the obstacles won't hurt,
Distractions can be deadly,
It's time for decisiveness,
Plan your line and follow it,
Or guaranteed, you'll crash.

I need to trade my heavy sighs for deep breaths,
To slumber in peace instead of exhausted tears,
Changing my distraction into productivity,
Throwing away the mask and smiling for real.

When?

When will the rain let up? I’m drenched.
Carrying a load that’s too heavy to bear,
I need the sunshine’s warmth and light,
But only the storm clouds surround me.

Will this night never end? It’s so dark.
Stumbling under the weight of it all,
I watch for the dawn when I can see.
Not a star in the sky to guide me now.

When will I find dry land at last?
Walking on the bottom of the ocean,
Longing for the fresh air to breathe,
The world is blurred and heavy here.

When will I be free from sadness?
“Wait,” says intuition, “Wait.”
Pushing for the day I’ll be okay.
I’m engulfed by emotion for now.

Into the Desert

Walking away from my love and heart,
But it’s just as big as it was at the start.
I look back; the horizon is the same,
My longing for him, an undying flame.

Sweetness and love I treasured there,
I’m walking away to a land that’s bare,
Into the wilderness to wander alone,
To purge bad habits to which I’m prone…

Looking back to see how far I’ve come,
Still too close to where I started from,
Ah love, pain, and nights spent awake,
I’m walking on to heal this heartbreak.

Every step taken brings progress nye,
Time slowed down since we said goodbye.
I’ll keep going until this pain fades,
Then I’ll be able to rest in the shade.

We each had a knitting needle, mine on the left, and yours on the right.
We started knitting our lives together, rhythmically working…
We each knitted in our personal desires, feelings, and goals,
A colorful arrangement: some cool, some warm, some hot…

Each of us adding in parts of ourselves; our own styles and flair,
Then we lost our rhythm and started working at opposing speeds.
The relationship we were knitting became skewed, crooked.
We sought help to correct it, but fast, slow, slow, fast…

Pushing and pulling, our work of art became a tangled mess.
It was time to cut our way out of it, and learn from our mistakes.
For one, our desires of silk and wool don't knit together well.
Two, we have other works to accomplish before we can knit again.

Sadly, I look around and begin cleaning up the mess.

Too Tight

I sang to you as your circled me,
Binding me as you were bound,
Mutually attached, tightly knit.

I asked you to loosen the binds,
I couldn’t sing like I used to.
The binds were loosened, but then,
The restraints tightened again.
You said I needed to hold them,
I only wanted to sing.

I held them the best I could,
Keeping the tightness at bay,
Tighter and tighter you pulled,
And little by little I gave way.

I forgot the words to my song.
You bade me “Sing, love, sing.”
I tried, but out came silence.
I needed to be set free.

Friendship

Ah the giggle of the bubbling brook,
The lovely sway of the Willow tree,
The waft of flowers upon the breeze...
and a pool of water, refreshing and sweet.

The love of friends- sometimes a trickle,
Sometimes a river flowing strong.
The connection flows to me from above,
And out through the joyful brook and on.

Feverish

The water can’t reach the cold in my bones,

Stepping into the cold air, I feel too warm.

Like a sheet flapping in an angry wind,

The fog flaps at the sides of my vision.

I feel like I’ve been kicked in the head…

Ah exhaustion, take me through this.

My Life

I realize I have too much on my plate and its all starting to fall and stain the floor.
My life is too full of clutter to find a place to put the plate so I can clean up the mess.
I look around and see you, and you have your own full plate, though you offer to help.
The longer the issues stay on the carpet, the harder it will be to get the stains out.
I must take some time to clean my plate, to clear the clutter, to scrub the floor.
Then I can smile and let love in when it comes again, knocking on my door.

Wolf Moon

I went out and turned circles, scanning the sky.
Yes indeed, indeed it is a dark lonely night.
I looked for the moon and Mars next to it,
But I saw nothing in the sky, nothing lit.

Oh the moon, ever there, ever changing too.
Sometimes full sometimes not; like me and you.
I'm still scanning, love, looking for a hint of light,
It's supposed to be big, but there's no moon in sight.

I am so tired from it controlling my tides,
Such ups and downs, too wild of a ride.
Maybe the moon is better all hidden in the dark,
Instead of lighting the way for lovers in the park.

I looked, my love, I looked so earnestly,
Hoping for the hope and the light I didn't see.
Our passion is strong, bright behind the clouds,
Behind the pain and the rain and all these doubts.

I feel the shaking under my feet-
I thought I was firmly grounded,
I start falling as I'm informed...
I was standing on a cloud.

The ground slips out from under me,
I grasp for balance, for stability...
Alas, I find none. Such is life.

Manipulation

To bring out a smile,
Now that's a skill.
That's ability.
That's power.
That's influence.
A useful tool for a manipulative being...

To bring out reaction,
Now that's nature,
Consequences for action.
Action for reaction,
Willingness for effort,
manipulation...

To bring out fear,
Reaction for action,
The wrong kind of power,
Not respect but close,
It's a trade-off,
Oh manipulation...

To bring out guilt,
Acting for reaction,
Weakness for results,
Wounded and wronged
As presented anyway,
Manipulation...

To bring out love,
give for take,
selfless for unconditional,
Patience for peace-
That appears to be different...
To the manipulative, it's not.

C-H Family

Oh the joy on your face,
They grow at such a pace,
Before you and I know,
They'll be full grown,
In a blink of an eye,
Graduation'll be nigh,
I'll watch them grow
in still scenes, you know,
That's enough for me,
To see you all so happy!

HOPE!!

There’s light at the end of this dark tunnel,
There’s light at the end, I can see it!
Now only to figure out how far,
How far and if I can reach it…
A week and a day? A lifetime perhaps?
There’s no telling from this circumstance,
But finally I see it, the light at the end,
And I hope I no longer have to pretend
That everything is okay or at least will be,
I can see the light, the point I’ll be free.

Strong Will

I will spite the biting winds with the warmth I share,
I will choose to see what's ahead, ignoring the glare.

Treading ten thousand miles, one step at a time,
I'll get to my destination, without being resigned.

I'll reach that other shore, through shark-infested waters,
Never losing sight of everything that really matters.

A team of wild horse could not weaken my resolve,
This journey I am trekking, the focus being love.

See?

Why is it, that all you choose to see is fog?
I thought it was clear as the cold blue sky,
As clear as the water running in the brook,
In which you could wash your Murky eyes.

Elephant in the Room

High above the cubicles, the shadow’s reach has grown,
The whispers are getting loud around the fear of the unknown…

An elephant suddenly appeared in the middle of the room,
No explanation, no reason given, so the questions only loom.

The employed make speculation in hushed voices, muted tones,
But the questions remain unasked, to avoid making foes.

“Shhhhhh, it’s a secret, shhhhhh, I cannot tell,
You don’t know the answer, and for you, it’s just as well.”